The last few days have been pretty hard. Two or three days ago I had my first panic attack in two weeks. It was so hard to go through. It made me so scared that I was going to start having more. I can’t really complain because I went from having several panic attacks a day to one after two weeks that is a huge improvement. It still kind of shook me, I instantly thought that I was back down in “the hole”. I have been anxious the last couple of days after because I’m scared that I am going to have another, it’s like I’m unintentionally waiting for the next. The day after the panic attack I honestly didn’t leave the house. The day after I did and have everyday since. I’m having to kind of rebuild some trust with myself which kind of sucks, but it is what it is.
On a positive note, I started a Udemy YouTube masterclass and plan on making videos! I have set up some of my account but I’m doing it with the pace of the course so it can be perfect!(Can anyone say OCD perfectionist?!) In the mean time I have made an Instagram account to post my makeup. Makeup really has helped me in a big way. It is so fun to sit down and play with different colors and ideas. It also helps me when I have to go out into public I feel more confident and also kinda gives me something to “hide” behind, for lack of a better term. It also is just awesome to have someone complement your makeup. It instantly gives you like a boost of confidence and for me gives me a topic I can talk to people about and not be too awkward (hopefully).
I am not a professional but I am really excited to track my progress!